music while you read

Robotic Referees

So I've been brain storming hmm how can 2 different sports be played on the same field simultaneously in a cross shape fashion, and then it hit me, robotic referees. Robotic referees can serve many functions off the field as well, in the streets, at the play ground, at the library. Defund the police, upfund robotic referees.

Blackholes

Breaking the myth about time changing speed in black hole, it doesn't, like you might think if you were in a ship falling into a black hole you would look at a clock and see the the clockwork of that old ass clock you have in your hand slowing down, all the gears in it are slowly turning slower than before, but if that was so than the neurons shooting between your eyes and brain would also slow down so you wouldn't even see a difference. But most of all because time isn't a thing, its just a measurement. But also everything is time, temperature is a form of time, all energy is vibrations of different speeds, like a bunch of marbles vibrating off each other and being crunched together and shifting around each other, the spaces and motion shapes of all these energies is what gives a molecule it's structure and how it interacts with other molecules, i mean that's how i imagine it all works. And then consciousness itself is kinda just a self perpetuating pattern of energy.

The Epileptic Math-magician, i mean he's kinda the plumber that untangles the turmoil tunnels of your brain. And the great magnetorous, its too big to be explained.

Chicken first, then egg

i am coming to the conclusion that the chicken came first, not the egg. Every organism in existence continuously evolves when faced with environmental change, thus at some point the chicken was a microscopic insect that continually grew to devour it's enemies, and eventually stabilized to what it is now, but during that evolution the egg was created as a defence mechanism, it was not always there. fuck you neil degrasse tyson.

tiny pants

so today i was strolling past a light rail stop, and there's a drinking fountain, and this guy standing at the drinking fountain had those mini pants on, the kind of pants that can't be pulled up all the way to the waist but only like half way up the thigh region, so the entirety of his underwear is exposed, and the way he just stood at the drinking fountain without drinking from it i was sure he was just washing his dick in it, i kinda wanted to go around him and prove this theory to myself but i didn't want to seem like a weirdo.

fast food hack

fast food hack: save your receipt or find one on the floor. go there during lunch or dinner rush, go up to one of the cashiers and say you still haven't got your order and give them the receipt, they most likely won't look at the time or date, they will have your order re-made and give it to you. This will work best at a place that has 2 cashiers taking orders simultaneously.

The Trifecta of Time

I have this philosophy, but trying to fit it into a sequence shaped tangent is difficult. i don't think humans go directly to heaven after they die, i think there is another stage of life where we connect mentally to everyone that has ever existed, its basically like the internet with no filter or hiding, everyone can free roam into anyone's mind, to read the record of every though anyone has ever had. It's basically hell for most people, but its like before heaven happens every single person that has ever existed needs to completely understand and forgive every person, which of course is not going to happen instantaneously, it could take years, even centuries. But i think there needs to be a physical form for this to work, a person can't feel embarrassed without a nervous system, and a person can't grow wings without breaking through their cocoon of nervousness. So basically i'm saying each person will feel each person prying into their thoughts, thus they will grow new mental agility to cope with it. The 2nd possibility is instead we just re-incarnate as each other, many times over until every human understands why every human who ever existed did the wrong things they did. I call this scenario the "perpetual hell", because it doesn't resolve until not a single person on earth is left homeless or starving. The steps to solving those problems are incredibly daunting, and seeing as most people who own smart phones are too scared to do anything about anything other than click share on informative information they didn't even write themselves... they are perpetually doomed to re-incarnate as the people they failed to help. This is kind of my attitude towards life in general, i mean people probably think i'm trying to be edgy or something when i rant about how people need to quit having babies, whether you planned it or not. If you died your life leaving more problems than you solved than you are literally just poop in the grand scheme of things. Spoiler alert but your kid isn't going to do better than you, they're not going to create cures or whatever it is you were too mentally lazy to figure out yourself. The flood is coming, its been coming, its forever looming over ready to crash down. The 3rd possibility and scariest of all, at the point after humanity has resolved it's self, we come to realize that God is the perfect merging of all consciousness into one singularity, that eventually becomes violently bored and must split itself into life again, and we do the whole thing over again, and again.

Fancy Ketchup is so pretentious

"I'm just a little on the fence with Kathy Lee Gifford's policy on reanimating aborted fetuses and raising them to be pet companions for all the unrescued dogs at shelters" - how i think fancy people's conversations probably sound like.

Maybe Science

I don't know like science stuff or whatever, but i think maybe like all materials melt at different temperatures, so like if you put trash on a conveyor that traveled through a series of ovens, each oven progressively hotter than the last, then you can easily separate materials from piles of garbage by this method of melting, thus stream lining and simplifying the process of recycling trash.

Foot Traffic Cops

What's the bullshit with the traffic signs in walmart? The "don't shop this way" signs, fuck that, you assholes obviously too cheap to hire cashiers, we know you're not gonna hire extra security to enforce your stupid shopping traffic.

Funeral knick knack store

I have an important announcement, ladies and gentlemen and other pending identities of the internet, this weekend will be the grand opening of my ice cream delivery service to cars stuck in traffic on the freeway via mini-trailer fridge thing pulled by a motorized bicycle riding along the emergency space for cars that breakdown, delivery service. And then the following week is the grand opening of my open casket knick knack store, a great shopping space for unidentifed bodies that are receiving funerals but nobody really knows much about the person so you kinda just gotta guess what kind of random things they might have had at some point in their lives.

Deleted Facebook Now

Facebook is an out of control spy advertisement machine government entity that sells your information, sensors you, brainwashes you, and enables you to be mindless garbage content scrolling dumb dumbs.  If you continue to use Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg will be your president in 20 years.

Dating site for singularities

I have 2 concepts of singularity that i made up. Firstly the 2 that usually get tossed around, the idea that super computers will create self aware AI, and the idea that the laws of physics changes in a blackhole, i don't really believe in those. But my first idea, is that a "technology singularity" is basically when all things necessary to sustain human life indefinitely is all compacted into a space ship. Of course this space ship will probably be the size of the Titanic, but it would probably be revised many times until it is much smaller. 

My 2nd idea is actually 2 different ideas that both have to do with TV. Firstly i think TV and movies are just going to keep rebooting until everything flips inside out, there must be some sort of decay threshold before a sequence of re-boots becomes an exact replica of the original material. Ok, like say there's really only 7 primary colors, there's only 12 audio tones, there's only 8 primary smells and 15 dilations of taste, there's only good, evil and bizzarro, there's only a few basic ingredients to every story: hunger, sex, hate, love, money, natural disaster, and varying levels of inferiority complex/ power obsession. You multiply all these things together and there's really only like 211,680 movies you can make from that before life just flips inside out. The more important idea though is about the singularity of human behaviour. I think humans are alot more chill these days than say even just 50 years ago, our generation has grown up much faster than every previous generation, and that is largely due to TV. Because most of us grew up watching enumerable amounts of compressed life lessons, making us more empathetic to alot more situations than all the generations prior to the technicolor era, like i don't think black and white tv counts. I think once the older generations die off, i think the trend of humans compressing their emotions and confusions down to digestible understandings will bring us closer to becoming the unified alien beings we are destined to be, the singular.

Tupac is alive

I think Tupac is alive. I haven't done any research to see if anyone has pointed this out already, but i was just listening to Tupac and noticed, he said "forgive me i'm a rida, all i want is the money fuck the fame i'm a simple man, i'm mister international, player with a passport, which seems like it could hint at his plan to fake his death and pull a Chappelle and go live on some other continent with all his money. That was on his last album while alive, and then the first album released after he supposedly died was under his alias "Makaveli" which if you switch the letters around spells "Am i alive" minus the k, and the album name "The Don Killuminati: The 7 day theory" sounds like it could be a play on the jesus resurrection. And then his next album is called "R U still down?" which sounds like it could be asking if he's still down in his grave, and then his next album is called "Still I Rise". And then the names of his last album and first album seem to tie together "2pocalypse" and "Until the end of time", it's hard to imagine anyone else would have been clever enough to continue or leave those subtle clues to his Christ like narrative.

Photographic Memory Foam Technology

I always cringe when people say they have photographic memory cause i totally doubt it, but i guess if i'd say i had any sort of super natural feature its probably my sound memory, i can play back like really detailed songs in my head at any given moment although the volume is pretty faint. but it comes in handy when i'm at work and i'm spacing out which happens alot and then suddenly somebody tells me something important but i wasn't paying attention, i just try to piece together the sounds that just happened in the past 10 seconds and can usually make some sense of it, and all within about 3 seconds i will react with like "ok". i think most of my experiences doing shrooms or acid have always been alot more auditory than visual. like i'll be listening to albums that i'm super familiar with and i'll hear shit that i never heard before. Or usually at the end of the trip when its like 8am and i'm trying to go to bed but i can't sleep and the sounds in my head get loud enough they actually sound like they're real. my favorite trip experience was one time i could actually control the sound in my head, i could make it sound like 8bit nintendo sounds, and i could play it like a keyboard, just pressing buttons and whatnot, like it wasn't just faint in my head like a memory, it was full volume BLIP BLIP BLIP!! shit was real. because of this i developed a much better understanding of how sound and memory work in your brain, but you know, whatever, maybe i'll figure out a way to explain eventually. i pity people who don't take psychedelics serious, computers and technology are just the prototype to what our brains are capable of doing on their own. i mean i believe photographic memory is possible, its just always seems its dumb people seeking attention claiming it, i mean if you had photographic memory you should be able to execute long division in your brain, but you ain't.

All content written/generated by the Entertainment-Calculator.

All music on this page is the work of collaborator Bionightmare.

Listen to more Bionightmare at his bandcamp pag